The Morning After
by Belamancer
Summary: Rose wakes up on holiday. Amusing little ficlet that mutated. No real spoilers, no nuthin except implications. It started off as harmless fun, but now it's gotten serious...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - All things Doctor Who-ish belong to the amazing BBC, really you guys don't get enough credit.

Rating - um. I don't entirely get this random American rating thing. It's rated a fifteen in my opinion. That means there are adult themes, some mild swearing, mild nudity and references to (but not actual) sex. Not to be read before the 9 o'clock watershed.

Spoilers- None.

Summary - The idea was funny. The story is longer than I thought.

Author's note - o0o denotes flashback/scene change. Set after the end of the new series, but completely ignoring the regeneration because, let's be frank, it should NOT have happened.

The Morning After

_Grrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkk._

Rose woke gradually, letting the wonderful relaxed feeling wash over her. Absolutely the best sleep she'd had in ages. She opened her eyes to the dimly lit room and smiled - not too bright, not to dark. Perfect. And the bed was more comfortable than ever, it seemed softer, more cosy and pleasantly warm. It also seemed more tasteful than usual, a soft dusky pink instead of it's usual brass and brown motif.

Because, she realised with a shock, it wasn't her bed.

She was in someone else's bed.

She bit her lip worriedly, staring at the strange gold and green pattern on the ceiling.

_Grrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkhhhhhhhh._

There it was again. What was that noise? It almost sounded like someone snoring, but that was-

_Grrrrnnnnkahhhhhhh. sniff_

-probably right. Definitely snoring. Rose fretted quietly, wondering who the snoring person could be. She worried that she couldn't remember, that she couldn't even remember quite where she was. Let's see, the last thing she could remember...

o0o The planet seemed dead, a vast ball of red desert sand fringed by crystalline beaches and a rather listless sea. Huge slabs of sandstone formed terrific monuments that spanned what on Earth would have been continents. They formed interesting geometric patterns, and were quite stunning when viewed from space, but they weren't the exciting, wild time that the Doctor had grinningly promised her.

Rose sighed. Yes, she loved the adventure. She'd seen sights to make great artists weep with jealousy, witnessed events that happened millenia after she was born, seen the beauty of the universe and the miracles of cration. But just once she'd like to see something a bit, well, normal. Just for once it would be nice to find herself somewhere the natives had no problems, where the current ruler wasn't on the edge of being overthrown by angry peasants, where terrorists weren't holding the capital to ransom, somewhere where alien threats as old as time itself didn't suddenly pop into existence and start eating people.

Somewhere where she could _relax _instead of living on a permanent knife-edge of tension. She had mentioned this to the Doctor, hesitantly, and he had grinned and claimed he knew just the place. A holiday would be good for all of them, he'd said. I'll find us somewhere nice, don't worry, he'd said.

She just hoped that this barren somewhere had a pub, or at least had some kind of intoxicating food or drink that was compatable with human physiology.

_o0o Ggrrrrrrnnnnnnuuurrrkk_

Rose settled slightly in the bed, for fear of waking the mystery person up, and shut her eyes in case she did.

o0o "There you are. Nineteen moons!" Rose nodded and smiled at the Doctor. The moons were beautiful, their shining gold and silver reflecting off the gently rippling sea. She sighed. Jack was less impressed.

"Yeah, they're pretty, but did we have to stay and count them _all_?" The Doctor seemed surprised.

"Why, was there something else you wanted to do?" he asked quizzically, as if surprised that anyone faced with this clear desert sky could possibly want to do something other than count moons. Jack shrugged.

"I thought we were coming here for some fun, that's all." Rose nodded in agreement.

"You said somethin' about 'exciting, wild times'" she hinted. The Doctor looked crestfallen.

"Well, I don't know... We should get a good view from that rise there." He pointed to a nearby sand dune and the three struggled up it's dusty steep slope, Rose and Jack sharing perplexed and puzzeled looks.

When they reached the top they didn't have enough breath left to swear, which was just as well. Still Rose managed to find enough energy to poke the Doctor hard in the shoulder.

"Oi! Well, I take it that looks exciting and wild enough for you?" he laughed.

"You, you-" Jack was lost for words, still breathless from the climb.

"bastard" Rose supplied as she stared down at the city below them.

"Hey!" the Doctor objected "Didn't you like the moons?" Rose glared at him.

"I would not have been out there counting moons if I'd known that this was here!" She gestured down at the intensly urban sprawl. The lower portions of the giant sandstone monoliths were covered with flashing billboards and glowing signs. Aliens of all sizes and shapes, as well as a few human - looking people, were jostling in the crowed streets and walking in and out of the brightly lit buildings. The Doctor grinned.

"Anyone for a drink?"

_o0oGggrruuuunnnkkkrruhhh. snurkkk._

Rose opened an eye to stare at her pillow thoughtfully. Maybe, if she was quiet, she could wrap it around her head without waking him?

o0o "Well, I think you're simply _delightful_." The lilac-skinned creature fluttered a tentacle coquettishly in front of what Jack supposed, with sudden horror, was probably it's mouth. He hoped it was.

"Um, thanks." he responded, somewhat awkwardly as the scaly tentacle wound itself gently into his hair in a way that, had he been a male Tåkelyktian, would have been extremely indecent. "But I really-"

"Oh, you're so brave and modest!" the alien gurgled at him. "I don't know how anyone could have possibly let you go." Jack seized on this with alaricity.

"They haven't." he said wildly " In fact I really should be getting back, they'll be wondering where I am, I should-" The creature tutted at him disaprovingly and he changed tack. "Actually, I er, really like you, er-"

"Smaragd"

"Smaragd, yes, I, er, like you a lot-" she placed a pseudopod on his knee encouragingly. "and I want you to meet my friends! Yes! I'm sure they'd love to meet you." He added and waved desperatly at Rose who was glumly sat by the bar, watching the Doctor being chatted up, and grinned with relief as she wandered over.

"Oh Jack, er, darling" she giggled slightly "I, er, who is this?" Jack groaned inwardly. She was clearly drunk on something or other. He smiled sweetly at her and mouthed the words 'help me' over Smaragd's head.

"Come on." she said finally, having completely failed to think of anything. She grabbed his arm, nodded at the dissapointed Smaragd, and dragged him over to where she'd been watching the Doctor from.

"Look at her." she snapped angrilly. "Who does she think she is?" she nodded at the tall, graceful golden-skinned beauty leaning over the table to talk to the Doctor. _Her _Doctor.

Jack grinned.

"He." Rose frowned at him. "He's a synesian. They have loads of different sexes. At least five that I know of." he added smirking. Rose smiled evily.

"Let's leave them for a bit." she suggested.

_Grrrrrrrrnnnnnnkkkkaaaaahhh. Nkkk._

o0o Rose suppressed a groan as she unwrapped the pillow. Maybe, if she was _really_ quiet, she could wrap it around _his_ head without waking him.

o0o The Doctor was at the bar buying his companion another drink when Rose grabbed his arm. She looked irritated.

"Where's that drink you promised us then?" He shrugged apologetically at his new friend, who turned her slender back to him sulkily.

"What do you want?" He scanned down the list of drinks. "Wine, some sort of fruit flavoured spirits, beer made from-"

"I don't know." she cut him off. "Something special."

"cocktail?" She nodded happily.

"I've been drinking this green stuff, it's very nice." she hinted.

"Okay, green it is." he passed her a tall glass of something virulently green with a frothy head, and Jack materialised at his shoulder.

"Did I hear the word cocktail?" he smirked as he took the Doctor's drink.

"To Holidays!" Rose toasted, rather messily.

"To cocktails!" added Jack cheerfully, downing his in one.

"To getting completely ratlegged, if I remember this stuff correctly!" cheered the Doctor as he sipped the green goop cautiously.

o0o That was it. She couldn't remember any more, and she half dreaded what she might find out if she just turned her head to look.

_GGggggggnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkk. Snurrkkkk. Cck snck._

Then again...

She kicked him, just hard enough to wake, just soft enough to pretend to be asleep, and a familiar voice said: "snck Wha'?"

Thank god.

"Sorry Doctor. You were snoring." she explained.

"Don't be rid'c'l'us." he mumbled. "I never snore." He settled in the bed again, and five minutes later-

_Grrrrunnnknnnk. snuuuurrrrckck._

Rose kicked him harder this time, but got no response. Possibly he was ignoring her. Possibly, she thought, he had gone back to sleep.

_Grrrrnnnnknknknk._

Definitely gone back to sleep. She gave him a good hard shove with her foot and was mortified to hear a painfilled thump as he hit the floor.

"What the hell did you do that for!" he shouted, abruptly awake.

"You were snoring again." Rose muttered shamefacedly. "You **were**." She added, to his look of disbeleif.

"I. Do. Not. Snore." He shook his head, trying to clear it, and with a sharp tug pulled the covers off the bed. "There." He said, satisfied, to Rose's outraged face.

"Why you-" she snatched them back and laughed at the suddenly shocked expression on his face. "That'll teach you to snore like a wounded wart-hog!"

"Sorry, that was me." She turned in the bed so fast that she fell out and was left staring upwards, in equal astonishment, at Jack's apologetic grin.

"I told you." The Doctor muttered, shell-shocked. "I don't snore." Jack looked hurt.

"Neither do I. Not like a wounded wart-hog, anyway." He amended quickly, as Rose threatened him with the pillow.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Yeah, well. I enjoyed it, anyway. Give me feedback, you never know what this could change into!

(Except you can bet it's not turning into anything with a higher rating, I'd be too embarrassed.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2, or I know this sucks but read it anyway.

Disclaimer - All things Doctor Who-ish belong to the amazing BBC, really you guys don't get enough credit.

Rating - um. I don't entirely get this random American rating thing. It's rated a fifteen in my opinion. That means there are adult themes, some mild swearing, mild nudity and references to (but not actual) sex. Not to be read before the 9 o'clock watershed.

Spoilers- None.

Summary - The idea was funny. Then it mutated, as these things do.

Author's note - denotes flashback/scene change. Set after the end of the new series, but completely ignoring the regeneration because, let's be frank, it should NOT have happened. Oh, and if you like it, why not review? Think of all the calories you'll burn, and the healthy exercise your fingers will get as you tap the keyboard. Think of how useful being able to type is, and how much practice you could get by reviewing. Think about how much you liked my story, and how you want to tell me so. And if you didn't like it, tell me why. I'm dying of curiosity.

Oh, and sorry guys, no smut. I said No! (If you want it, you can write it.)

"Breakfast, lover-boy." A smirking Jack deposited three plates piled high with some sort of fried grain stuff, and was rewarded with a ferocious glare.

"What part of the words 'Never speak about this to anyone, ever, on pain of serious pain' didn't you understand?" The Doctor grumbled in tones of slightly hungover menace. Jack shrugged.

"There's no need to take it so hard-"

"Whose taking what now?" Rose mumbled blearily as she wandered in brushing her hair.

"Nothing" the Doctor snapped, and reached for one of the plates. Rose sat down with a sigh.

"You know," Jack mumbled through a mouthful of breakfast. "I bet this place is really expensive." The Doctor shrugged non-committally.

"So." Jack tried again, after another long embarrassing silence. "Where to next?" Rose looked up sharply and winced.

"Somewhere quiet." She suggested, and looked at the Doctor. "Where can we go that's quiet?"

"Earth?" He mentioned casually, not paying attention. Jack grinned enthusiastically and Rose groaned.

"God, my mum's gonna kill me." The Doctor looked at her in slight alarm.

"You're not going to tell her." He stated flatly, and hoped. Rose shook her head.

"Doesn't matter. She's got, like, radar or sumthin. She'll know." Jack beamed.

"I'd like to meet your mom! It'll be great!" the Doctor gave him a disbelieving look and decided to ignore him.

"I guess we should probably get moving then. Before they present us with the bill." He added, looking meaningfully at Jack's highly piled plate. Jack nodded.

"Earth it is, then. Sounds like fun." He grinned brightly at Rose and the Doctor's less than cheerful faces, then shrugged and went off to pack.

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o

The TARDIS seemed somewhat reluctant to open the doors for some reason, and the Doctor frowned at he display panel thoughtfully. One of the problems with having an intelligent, telepathic ship was that occasionally she decided that she knew best and this appeared to be one of those times. A quick check of the location display showed that, no, they weren't on Earth. Or anywhere near. The TARDIS had, inexplicably, dropped them off on the third asteroid of Nagele in the latter part of the nineteenth century. The whole Nagele system was renown for technological advances in many fields, including space travel and engineering. Maybe she needed repairs?

Jack jumped into the control room, closely followed by Rose, and the Doctor wondered for the nth time why he could never just walk anywhere. No he always had to make an entrance, just to make sure everyone was looking.

"What's up Doc?" Jack smirked at him as he sighed theatrically and rolled his eyes.

"Bit of a location problem." He admitted, pointedly speaking to Rose. She frowned at him.

"You mean we're not on Earth." she said disappointed as the Doctor shook his head and Jack deflated a bit. "Where are we, then?" The Doctor shrugged.

"Third asteroid of the Nagele system, don't ask me why. The TARDIS just dropped us here."

"Why?" The Doctor shrugged.

"No idea. But if you wanted to find out, you could take a look outside." Rose nodded her agreement and strode up to the doors. Which opened happily, as if there had never been a problem with them in the first place. The Doctor tapped the console surreptitiously.

"Behave." He muttered to the obstinate machine. Jack grinned at him but wisely decided not to say anything.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Outside was everything he'd expected. Tall concrete-like buildings, decorated in exciting new styles that would, in just a few years, look extremely tacky and horrendously out of date. They looked slightly Art-Deco, with perhaps a hint of Gothic. The Doctor actually rather liked them.

The streets were almost empty – it was mid-afternoon and all the important people were at work. On Astro3 everyone worked, regardless of age or health. But then, everyone was healthy, even the very old. They had one of the best health services he'd ever seen, and the most consistent work ethic. Even their council worked most hours and all days.

Rose seemed quite taken with some of the more impressive architecture, although she would keep stopping in inopportune places to admire it. After the fourth time he hauled her out of the way of one of the cities frequent transport vehicles she finally started to pay some attention to where she was going. Jack swaggered as if he owned the place, as usual.

The Doctor wasn't at all sure what he was looking for, and was quite grateful that neither Rose nor Jack thought to ask him about it. He'd been hoping that there'd be a nice obvious sign, something like 'timeships repaired while you wait'. A vague nudge from his Timelordly intuition had him looking around warily but it was Rose who spotted it first. One of the less decorative, less impressive buildings, with a quite smallish sign on the front advertising it's status as an exclusive music club. It wasn't much to look at, really, not very interesting unless you read the graffiti that someone had scrawled across one corner. It was faded and worn, but he could just make out the Nagelish runes that translated directly as 'disobedient pack-hunting-beast'. Or, put another way, Bad Wolf. Again.

Rose nudged him again.

"What do you think it means?" she sounded nervous, and he could see why. He shrugged, affecting a casual attitude that he couldn't really afford.

"I guess this is where we should be, then." Jack didn't sound too pleased either. The Doctor nodded.

"I guess so. It's worth remembering," he added, looking at the two very worried faces "It was the TARDIS that brought us here. Nothing else" Rose agreed reluctantly.

"I suppose. I just don't feel too great about it." The Doctor nodded and sighed inwardly. His own intuition wasn't terribly happy about it either. The future didn't look too dangerous, but it didn't look terribly good either.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

much more accurate than women's intuition, seeing as how they can see the future (or at least, the way the future _should_ go) most of the time.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Strains of hauntingly familiar melodies wound through a haze of slightly greasy smoke, and the Doctor remembered that the Nagelish liked to make the most of their infrequent time off. A smartly dressed humanoid-type native asked for their tickets and nodded his head over the telepathic paper the Doctor and Jack showed him. The Nagelian, slightly blueish with embarrassment explained hesitantly that due to an unfortunate outbreak of cooties in the city they had to enter through a static biofield. Jack nodded cheerfully and the Doctor quietly explained to Rose that a static biofield detected changes in the EM field of living organisms that heralded the onset of disease, and that 'cooties' was just the TRADIS' telepathic field trying to translate the alien disease's name.

Jack strode confidently through the field, waving as he reached the other side but Rose baulked. It looked like a cube of blue glass, fizzing slightly as the smoke drifted through it, and made her feel slightly nervous as she stared at it. The Doctor gave her an encouraging smile, but couldn't quite manage his usual ear-to-ear grin. Something didn't seem quite right. It wasn't dangerous, of course. Not at all, he was absolutely certain of that. But he felt terribly nervous, and almost, excited? Something odd was going on, he was sure. The future suddenly seemed a very uncertain place indeed.

Rose stepped into the field with a vague feeling of apprehension, which doubled when changed colour to an alarming orange and made a warning bleeping sound. She spun around to see alarm flash briefly across the Doctor's face, to be almost entirely replaced by a fake reassurance that worried her even more.

"What? What is it?" The alien doorman was poking at a console type thing which then projected a sort of screen into midair. She squinted trying to see it but it was at an angle to her and she couldn't make it out. She could see the Doctor's face, though, and he didn't look happy.

"See, there? And here, too I think." The Nagelian pointed at the screen and the Doctor obediently leaned closer, trying to see.

"What is it?" The doorman gave the Nagelish equivalent of a shrug.

"It looks like a parasite. Nasty things. Definitely not cooties though, I suppose you should be thankful." Jack walked round to have a look.

"What is it?"

The Doctor frowned at it. "I don't know."

"Definitely a parasite." The Nagelian interrupted, prodding the screen. "See this? Siphoning nutrients off. Strange little thing, isn't it?" Jack shook his head.

"I can't see. Where is it?" The Nagelian pointed and Jack stood staring at it quietly. The Doctor shook his head at it.

"Never seen anything like it." He thought for a moment longer, then shook his head. Jack continued to stare.

"I dunno," He said thoughtfully "It does remind me of something."

Rose had had enough. She marched back out of the field angrily and stomped up to the screen. And stopped.

"oh." The Doctor turned to look at her.

"Cheer up!" He managed a grin. "Guy here says it's just a parasite, you'll be fine!" Rose shook her head, her eyes never moving from the screen. Jack shrugged at her.

"Told you you should keep sampling the local cuisine. I'm sure I've seen something like it before." he added thoughtfully. Rose continued to stare.

"And neither of you know what that is?" She managed eventually. The Doctor and Jack shook their heads. She swallowed. "Uh, maybe you should sit down." she thought about that for a moment and shook her head. "Maybe I should sit down." The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, a puzzled expression on his face but before he could the Nagelian let out a sudden gasp.

"Look at this! Just look at it!" his finger stabbed at the screen and the picture magnified itself. "See That there? That's the strangest thing I've ever seen! Amazing!" Jack glared at the alien angrily:

"Could you maybe be a bit more sens-" and the Doctor interrupted him.

"What. Is That." hi finger stabbed the screen and it magnified again. The Nagelian grinned in discovery.

"It's got a terribly advanced neuro-lymphatic system for it's size, and just look at those somatic-" The Doctor tapped the screen again and the doorman obediently leaned closer. "I, uh. Gosh, it's got a well-developed cardio-vascular system, doesn't it? Very odd. I mean, why in the universe would something that size need two-" Rose coughed.

"Can we go home now?" The Doctor nodded slowly and Jack looked from one to the other in consternation.

"Did I miss something?" They ignored him and set off, presumably back to the TARDIS, to the great disappointment of the doorman. Jack stared at the screen for a moment longer and a broad smirk spread slowly across his face.

"Hey, Doctor, wait up!" He caught up easily, and grinned at the two of them, both still shell shocked. "So, thought of a name yet?"

The doorman was left to reset the field, grumbling as he did so about parasites and discoveries, and the huge amounts of money to be made by registering newly discovered disease organisms. The screen continued to replay the last few seconds of video before Rose had left the field, and the doorman watched the strange creature's two hearts beating for a while before he remmebred that, as a doorman, he really should be watching the door.

0o0o0o0o0o0

That's it, but there may be more. I have many fun ideas.


End file.
